community and tears

It's 2:01am and of course I am blogging even though I have class tomorrow at 8:30.  This week we started a new section called 'Dynamic Teams' and the people from Chickle-fa or more commonly known as Chick-fil-A are coming to do some team building activities.  I know it sounds fun and all but hear me out....they aren't even bringing food!  How can you expect me to live out in the boonies and not be upset when my favorite restaurant is coming to me!  I mean so cruel.  My time with Chick-fil-A is limited before  I won't be able to eat it for 2 years....now that is sad.

  (so today ended up being so much fun and the people were pretty cool so naturally i had to forgive them for not bringing food. maybe i'll get chick-fil-a soon. maybe.)

I'm pretty sure I have cried more this week than I have in a very long time.  It's okay to be emotional every once in awhile right?  A couple of things of significant sadness were happening and then sometimes  I just have to have a good cry for no good reason.  I really had to wrestle with God last week because several of my friends family were done with training and leaving me!  Now I realize that I did a whole section on Transitions and learning how to effectively handle transitions but not yet, not this soon!  I thought that was information for when I leave to go on the field.  I didn't realize I was going to have to be dealing with that right now.  So, God and I had a talk....'Why did you bring me here to training and form such close knit relationships only for them to be taken away so soon?'

Because he was teaching me transitions AND love AND his faithfulness AND a lot of other things.

If anything this experience has showed me how in a mere 7 weeks true community can be formed.  LOVE can be shown.  My heart can open up to people and develop deep bonds and family.  

So last weekend I had to say some of my first goodbyes.  Thankfully God is always good.  Even if I came here just for this community I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I learned so much from people's histories, stories, this community, moms and dads parenting their kids, families, and life.  God was so faithful to give me relationships that I never dreamed I would have made.  There is something so unique and special about living and fellowshipping with other believers who share your same passion and heart.  To share with those who have the same desire to follow Christ and be obedient to His commands is amazing. 

and who wouldn't BAWL their eyes out if they got this note with pictures of all the things we did together...

tears are streaming.

from this little cutie...

me and abbie.

and you were leaving these little precious moment eyes, who always comes to your apartment and asks "can I have a snack," like I am going to say no?  are you kidding?  I do not have that much self-control.

my little levi.

and to continue my crying...some of the girls and I drove down to Charlotte at 5am (eeek!) to run (if anyone knows me they know i don't ever run unless its to catch the ice cream man or something) walk in a 5k.  Our director here at CIT lost his daughter several years ago to cancer and this race was named in memory of her.  Afterwards, him and his lovely wife took us to the grave site of their daughter.  Tears begin flowing again.  For them to bring us there and share together with us about the life of their daughter meant the world to me.  After 7 short weeks to open up and be that vulnerable held a lot of meaning.  I felt special.  I felt loved to be sharing in that moment with them.  and all they could do was continue to praise the Lord for his FAITHFULNESS.  It was well with their soul. 

so I've come to the conclusion that it's okay that i cry.  it's good practice for me before I leave.  God is just preparing my little heart.

that is all...